Sunday, March 26, 2006

the kiss of death

I have just experienced the kiss of death and boy, was it bad. It started out as good clean fun (well, it was always the case) until someone was dared to kiss any of the guys in the circle. There were five choices and I ended up being the unfortunate one. Crap. Good thing, the others were kissed as well. The exception of course was the guy who considered me Muslim for he covered himself well. Hehe. The guys has decided to put this in our repressed memory bank. But I doubt that I will ever forget such a horrifying experience.

Still, the whole party was fun and that is something I do not want to put into my repressed memory bank. I got home at three and fell down on my bed. First time, I slept in jeans, actually.

I woke up today and never forgot any of the things that happened yesternight and day. That means I never got drunk... only tipsy. I am still dizzy and I plan to sleep all day. Why did I have to drink alcohol straight from the bottle? I deserve this somehow... or not.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to one of my bestfriends, dressing made of eggs! :D

Sunday, March 12, 2006

cover

I hide my face behind a mask afraid to see the expression
Painted on the face underneath

Knowing that behind it is no smile at all
Rather, one of melancholy

It is melancholy in what life has brought me
And I meet it with despondency

Oh… what is the use of such a state
If only to bring deeper sorrow to mine

Detachment is the only solution

So I do it
And it overwhelms me

Behind it is no sadness
Rather, one of purpose

And that is enough for me.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

gift

Today, I gave her something that I
was proud to give her.
It was something that I would have never done
to any friend unless she was that special.
Well, she was.
Now, it is up to her what that meant.
I will leave my feelings in ambiguity
because that gives me the most happiness.
And if ever she sees through the gesture,
I hope her reply would be the
reply I have always been waiting for.

left-brained and all that

It is weird that people see me as someone who does not seem to do anything. Well, believe it or not I have a lot of thing to do. Apart from the usual subjects that I have, I study a bit of calculus for my friends, I am looking for sponsors for the Regcom, and I am part of a Filipino play that I have (unfortunately) committed to during the first few weeks of the semester.

I was talking to lemon girl once while we were eating at our usual eating place (that being Wendy's... because of their bacon mushroom melt). She was telling me that she was amazed that I was able to hide the other things that I was doing. It seems as if I just go on with life and deal with it when it comes. She gave me an example where in I had a long test. I was just hanging out with her and not even studying. I do not know why but it works for me.

Anyway, it has already been the third time someone has told me that I am too left-brained. Apart from skitz and lemon girl, I now have my cousin telling me that I am too organized. I am too clean and she does not like it. Well, I just cannot work when thing are out of place. I tried that last year by not having a planner and look where it got me. Hello double D's. At the end of the day, I am happy that I am left-brained. I might not be as creative as other Oboys in terms of writing (i was the one who always wrote by structure), but at least I have my own style and that's what important.

Wait... I just realized something. I hate writing peoms because they are too unstructured to even write. There are no rules for them. One thing I believe in is that you have to know the rules to break them. So how can I break the rules of poetry if they do not have rules in the first place. Haaay...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

unstressed and the 10 people

I just realized that I lack stress (not that I want to experience it) but I just find it surprising that I am not feeling it in my body. Last sem, I said this too at the start of the sem, so it came and then BAM. Good luck to Jay and to his D's. But now, I'm saying this 2 weeks from the exam week because I already know what I am doing for those two weeks. Well, I've finished most of them so there's nothing more for me to do. Well, I have some extra work that I'm doing for my friends but it's not that heavy. I wonder why a lot of my friends seem so stressed. Maybe it's because they take their classes too seriously. I, on the other hand, take my classes because I love studying them. I don't find them as stressful. I find them as joy. That, I guess, is the difference. Woohoo.

Haay... I love life. I realized that I can die right now and I would not regret having lived my life in the way I lived it. I am content with my family, friends, and everything that comes with it. The only thing that hinders me from wanting to die is the fact that I have this weird mission of making a BIG DIFFERENCE in the lives of ten people. And when I say big difference, I mean the difference that would help them even in the future. I have my first candidate and that candidate has been a challenge. Great for me huh?!