the missing

I’ve thought about it and realized something. Is it a given that when we do not see someone for a long time, we instantly miss that person? What I have realized is that it never really was a given. Usually, when we see someone for the first time after a long period of time, we blurt out the words, “I missed you,” just because it’s what most people say. It’s like saying good morning to someone who you see in the morning. But the thing is, even if the morning was as bad as a big fat F on your report card, you would still greet that person because it is what we are used to. Just like that, we say “I missed you” for the sake of it. Then we wait for that person to say the same and then we wait. We wait for some topic to pop into our minds to make our (“I missed you”) words seem credible.

At the end of the day, we do not miss everyone who we have not seen for a long time. We only miss those who make us feel empty once we do not see them. Those are the people that we long for to keep us company. They are those that give us a sense of nostalgia when we look at the pictures that show the times we had with them. They are those whom we know that makes our lives different when they are not there. And they are those who we need to constantly talk to just so we can lessen that feeling of longing. Some people I miss and some I do not. For those I do not, maybe they were just people who were there and never really made me any different. Without those people, my life would still be the same. And for those I miss, they are the ones who made a difference in my life. I know that without them, the life I am living would change radically.

through the telescope

Correct me if I am wrong
For once again we are
Sitting beside the our windows
Looking at the same old star
Through the telescope
Hoping that it would bring
The feeling back
Hoping that I see your ethereal face
While you look for my eyes
Because they say it shows my soul

Correct me if I am wrong
But hoping is what we are good at.
We hope until we die because
Deep down we know it is
That which will keep us alive

So that is it
I hope for the star to live forever
For with it, we are connected
And we endlessly sit beside our window
Hoping through the telescope

astrologer's delight

An unfortunate event it was not
With the thunderous beats of
A melodic harmony
It was said that this was nonsensical
Yet the stars were proven
Right once more

A fortunate event was foretold
With only those beats heard
In their own world of silence
At last, it is not at all senseless
The stars have lined up
Waiting for this to happen

No one thought it possible
Only the shining crystals
In the dark midnight sky knew
And they spoke of it as destiny

to that kid on the street corner

To that kid on the street corner
I tell you now that there’s no use
To crying and dwelling on
What is now the past
It will eat you up and everything
That was meant to make you a better
Person will make you much worse
So I tell you now,
You kid on that street corner
Stand up and play that tune
Start over

To that kid on the street corner
Thank you for the inspiration
Start over

child's play

Let’s stop this masquerade
A game of hide and seek
Where you are the champion
And I am the one defeated

Tell me,
Is this the game
You want to play forever
Because I’ve lost interest

This is the end
This is a game for kids
We have grown up
I give up

a dialogue for everyday

*due to some technical problems, stanzas 2-10 should not be alternate. the stanzas should be beside each other... by that I mean it should have two sides with equal length. okay.

Silence
I open my eyes
Then I stop
I think

My world:
It is that of detachment
Where shadows are in constant motion
While I am at a standstill

My world:
It is that of desire
Where that I want is at a standstill
While I am in constant motion

Yet, the dark outlines never stroke
Even the tip of my hand,
Which seeks to caress the figure
From which these shadows came

Yet, I cannot touch
Even the tip of the hand
That which I seek to caress
The hand that forms shadows

The choice is not mine to make
For the fire from this passion
Can pierce the beauty of the figure
Which wander around my isolation

I choose, Yes
For I might be engulfed in the fire
Of this burning passion
And it is with delight that I accept

I pursue this figure with all
Its worldly imperfections
Still, I know of its impossibility
For it is the curse that I must endure

I crave the burning figure with all
Its celestial perfections
I know of its possibility
For its curse I will endure

My world:
It is that which I do not desire
Where I am at a standstill
While shadows are in constant motion

My world:
It is that which is not detached
Where I am in constant motion
And I seek for the one at a standstill

It thinks that

I think that

It is an impossibility

It is a possibility

I think

Then I stop
I close my eyes
Silence

-Jay

betrayal

If indeed what I am doing is betrayal,
Then I am ashamed of myself.
But if it is not,
Then why does this feeling of guilt bother me?
Not telling would be betrayal
But telling would lead to the same fate
Which good is greater?
I do not know
And yet, I have already acted
Thinking that it was upon my better judgement
Oh... what's the use?
At the end, I know I have betrayed a greater friend
I pray he does not know
I pray he does not know