Sunday, November 25, 2007

oh mariah

She's a diva. I just saw this performance she had with other artists and she had to show off so that she'll be the star. I hate show-offs. That is the reason she is someone I do not want to perform with. She might be good but she will not let you be on equal footing with her. Oh Mariah. Now i know why they call you a diva.

I hope you realize people are annoyed when they see you. :D

Saturday, November 17, 2007

stumbling on insights

I was browsing through the different channels on my boob tube and came upon 'devil wears prada' on hbo. I just find that this movie has a lot of insights and up to now, I still get insights from it.

Anyway, I got four different invitations to go to the shindig today but I had decline all of them (there was a point i wanted to go, but then realized i didn't). If this was a year ago, I would have said yes and just go for it and get myself drunk in a public place until unfortunate events start happening to me. Well, that was a year ago and now, I think it's really different. I'm not into the events/party thing anymore. All you do there is show up and hope that a lot of people see you because that's the main reason for these parties. YOU HAVE TO BE SEEN! It's all about superficiality.

Another insight I got was somewhat related to my career. I started college knowing that I'd go into med school. Then, I enter an org and I started rethinking my steps. For a moment, I wanted to give up medicine forever to the point that I even hated my own course. And now, it seems as if everything is starting to make sense. If you watched the movie, the girl started her job wanting it for experience until she gets sucked into the little community of superficiality and her whole life starts crumbling. I feel like I'm experiencing the same thing. Ever since I got into theatre, my grades have been suffering and I have lost some friends (although I also gained some) because i was too busy or because my expectations of people have gone up or maybe because I lost the ability to trust. There was this constant drive to excel and be the top (not bad if it didn't hurt others).

Oh well, I'm out of that now and it's time to move on. I need to mend some past mistakes and focus on this "new" career. I was so caught up in that world and i forgot to anchor myself. The movie showed how true happiness can be found when one starts to be who he is. I am who i am and sometimes I am tempted to be someone else. There are times I succumb to it and there are times I don't. But, the most important thing, as it is in life, is the ability to shake yourself up and make sure you are still grounded.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

wall climbing and stuff

I wall climbed with Karen, Iea, Mica, and Iggy a while ago. Svet was there to look at us and LAUGH AT ME. So I was able to do the other ones until I got to this part where the wall was slanted and the rocks did not have those holes for the hands. So yeah thanks for my aching arms. I also tried to do the super hard one and watch me let go of the wall and swing like a monkey in mid-air. Thanks to Iggy, who did not want to baley me down, for letting me hang there for a longer time than usual. Dang. Hahaha. It was fun. Next week again hopefully. Yehey!

I also had a meeting for caroling which I wanted to leave because it was in the org room. Watch me squirm in the room which I dread the most. Remember: I want to dissociate myself from the org but not my friends namely the Kleek and a few certain people (i shall not mention people because some peeps might get jealous). Anyway, I had a meeting for the bio sportsfest after ditching the caroling (sorry oli, i'm helping... promise!). I was suggesting stupid games for the sportsfest but I don't care. Nyahaha.

I had dinner with Pam and Iggy after at Max's then Starbucks. We were just talking about tv shows, med school, and KAMOTE. sabaw! It was fun though. To med school people... here we go... ohyeh!

P.S. My arms can't feel a thing right now. Thanks wall climbing. Yey!

time to move on

Finally, I have reached a final decision. The past few years/months/days, I have always been debating whether to pursue theatre or pursue medicine. I've written so many entries about the clash between arts and medicine and I have even used it to discuss certain topics in Philosophy classes. And now, I know what I want. I can't help but smile whenever I think of the fact that I'm decided. I want to be a doctor and I will do whatever it takes to reach that. Wow, I'm actually decided. I can't friggin' believe this.

I was talking to my friends and I realized I wanted to be with my biology friends. I will really die if i see them as doctors while I scavenge for rackets in hopes of surviving. At the start, I did not want it at all but now I do. I've been finishing all my application forms because I'm passing them on the DEADLINE... not all of them but at least a good number. I'm so ready for med school. Time to party friends! Kidding! You promised I'd be your anesthesiologist. I better be that person, you fools! I'm fun. Wahahaha!:p

If you're wondering if I will still be active in my org (which I shall not name), I will be but not as active as before. I realized that I have to let go of it and the only thing important for me in that org were certain people (a few I should say) who I consider real friends. Let's scrap competition and being plastic. I can finally be myself and enjoy being me without having to wander in that world. Theatre has taught me a lot of things which I would not be able to learn if I was not immersed in that world. I really appreciate being in that org but there are time we just need to let go. I know I will miss it but this time, it has to be goodbye.

There are always opportunities for that and it may not be exactly in theatre form but it's still singing or performing. Hehe.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

my current albums: part 1

This past sembreak, it's either I'm out drinking and eating (doing the bym and jay show too), watching a movie, or in front of the computer downloading albums and t.v. shows. And I think, 70% of the time, I'm doing the latter. Woohoo!. So I might as well put a list of the albums I've been listening to. This is the shiznit people.

I'll go out of a limb here and put not 5 albums but 6 just because I do not want to conform. Hahaha feeling. Here's the first 3.

1. Keyshia Cole - Just like You
- This album is the one that's currently on repeat in my iTunes. Yeba! I have heard a song from Keyshia before where she collaborated with Alicia Keys and it was a'ight. But then I didn't bother to download the rest of the songs because I haven't really heard her sing solo. So my friend told me to download her album. I did. I think it's very good. It has a fresh twist to the new beats of hiphop/r&b. It has a combination of fast songs and slow songs as well. The thing about this one is that i felt her more when I saw her interview in Tyra. Keyshia rocks. Download this now. Go! Listen to 'Let it Go,' 'Falling Out,' 'I Remember,' 'Just Like You,' 'Losing You.' So why didn't I just include everything. Haha.

2. Mary J. Blige - The Breakthrough
- I know this is really ages ago but I never got the time to download it since I've been so focused on downloading Broadway songs (blech!). Thank you sembreak for giving me back my normal music. Who can beat Mary J. Blige's album? She's just great. I'm actually surprised she didn't get the Grammy for Record of the Year because I personally think she deserved it. Anyway, this new serving of Mary J. Blige's is also one of the albums on my current playlist. It rocks. Download this too! I'm serious! Go now! Listen to ALL SONGS. HAHAHA. I can't wait for her next album.

3. Ne-Yo - Because Of You
- You'd think that this is another of those hiphop/r&b albums out there that sound the same since they usually have the same vibe. But no no no no no, this one is actually different yet the same. I can't explain it but I like the fact that this album is sing-able. Yes, I do sing with it so shut up. Hahaha. Anyway, I think this is a good album especially the song where Jennifer Hudson and Ne-yo have a duet. 'Leaving Tonight' is the title my friends. I have been reeating the song OVER AND OVER. 'Nuff said.

Monday, November 05, 2007

will never watch shutter again

So, my good friend has been telling me to watch 'Shutter' by downloading it. In fact, he even sent me a link where I can download the movie. Well well well cowbell, I didn't even click the link because I did not want to watch it. The thing is, if ever I was going to watch it, I would be alone in my room and I would probably freeze to death on my seat while watching it. I have decided that it would be better not to watch it.

Today, I had the opportunity to finally watch it. I would not call it a 'golden opportunity' since I find it hard even to call it an 'opportunity.' But seeing that it is a chance for me to finally see what I have been scared of, FINE, let's call it an opportunity.

Scenario:
I closed the blinds and locked the doors. I lean on a wall so nothing will surprise attack me (you never know right). I make sure the lights are open. then I start watching. So yeah... I got pretty scared A LOT of times since I'm ALONE. TAE. Here's the best part.

While the movie was at it's peak, the lights go out and guess what... BROWNOUT.
WATCH ME SCAMPER TO A CORNER AND OPEN MY CELLPHONE FOR LIGHT. But then, I did not want to see unexpected things so I decided that NO CELLPHONE LIGHT was better. For the first time in many years, my imagination has created the scariest monsters (so I still call them monsters after all) it can create in a span of 10 minutes. Nakatatakot sa dilim lalo na kapag nanonood ka ng nakatatakot na pelikula...

P.S. I will never finish 'Shutter' unless I watch it with other people. Bow.