failing

Failing is the worst thing that can happen to a person. But, failing other people seems to be worse than the worst. I have two dreams that just died last week. To add to that, I seem to have lost a friendship. People keep telling me that at least it's okay now. Still, in my mind, I know it's not okay and it's different now. I can't even look at the person straight in the eye because of fear that the person will look away so there'd be no communication of some sort.

Yes, my two dreams are non-existent anymore. Well, I can always try to revive it... but it doesn't eliminate the reality that I wasn't good enough. Despite all this, I'm more affected by that friendship that I lost.

At the end of the day, all I can do is take what I have and just work with it. I can always have dreams and pretend in my mind that I have my whole life worked out. Things always change and we have to live with it. I just wish that things could have gotten better. I'm in serious need of reflection time in a field with no one around me.

This week will be better. It better be or I'll just feel shittier than shit.

ms. lauryn hill in the house

"Miscommunication leads to complication" - Lauryn Hill

Was it one big miscommunication? I don't know the answer. I'm currently walking in the dark, not knowing what the situation is. As I told my friend a while ago, I think I know what I want... a goal. do we try to patch things up or do we just ignore each other? I just want to know the answer so I'd know how to act. Woohoo!

What I want? :D