It ain't over

For the past few days, I have been trying to type on this blog in hopes of finding a way to end it. Unfortunately, for some reason which i cannot fathom, I always end up not finishing and just clicking the x-button-on-the-upper-right-hand-corner of the window. Then, a realization came to me.

The reason I cannot write an ending blog is that I get sad/depressed every time I get to the middle. I'd always be writing about how med school will be a new journey for me and how there will be different people. I was unhappy about the idea of losing friends (the closeness) because of proximity issues. After realizing this, another realization came to mind.

A few weeks back, when graduation ended, I texted my friends about how it has been a pleasure being friends with them blah blah. Then one of the replied that I was being senti and how things aren't over until he say it's over. This somehow made me realize that the power of keeping friendships is with me. I have to keep in mind that it isn't over until I say it's over. So there.

I won't be ending this blog because I don't wanna end anything. I don't want to lose the person that I was in college. It ain't over... it will never be.:)

finally, finality, fin

Once a decision is made, there's no turning back. That sense of finality brings forth feelings of loss. Loss of hope, options, and freedom. The loss sets you on this train track with only one destination.

I never wanted to make the decision. The sad thing about the whole thing is that once I was actually ready to make a decision, the options were not there anymore. There was only one path left and I had no choice but to take it.

Finality without the choice, for lack of a better term, sucks bigtime.

On a brighter note, I have decided to live with it. Fin.