i lie to lie

in all honesty, i am living a lie.

past these walls is the land that i dream of. a place where the ideal freedom is achieved. a place where i see familiar faces. a place where problems are not really problems.

it is when i wake that i want to go back to slumber.

inside these walls is reality. a place where dreaming is just a figment of my imagination. a place where i see familiar faces. a place where problems are just that.

let the night come
as i lie down and dream
tonight i lie

some things just have to remain as is

i imagined it. we would renew those severed ties and start over again. maybe hang out and go back to what our roles used to be. blood relatives they call us and indeed we are. we would talk until the night casts its shadow upon us. i would tell you all the details in my life. every little detail since we last talked. you would be fascinated and tell me how much you have missed. you would tell me all the details in your life as well and i would scold myself for having missed so much. home. we go to our rooms and breathe. finally, things are back to normal.

i imagined it happening. i imagined it happening. i imagined it happening.

no one knows. everyone thinks i am a mystery because they don't know you. it's funny. even i don't know you. i am a mystery to myself.

untitled reflection

i'm in my room and i'm supposed to be studying for an exam tomorrow.

i end up staring in space and thinking.

thinking about a lot of things.

what i want to do with my life.

what if this whole thing was the wrong decision.

somehow, i'm not happy... i write stuff to convince myself this is the right decision.

i stare at the ceiling and think.