searching for that greater meaning

usually, they say that family will always be there for you. you lose girlfriends, boyfriends, friend friends, bestfriends, or whatever other relationships you have, but you never lose family. family will always be there and will accept you no matter what flaws you have. but then what if family is the one that abandons you? do the rules change? does that leave you to fend for yourself like a castaway on an island?

as much as you want to tell other people about the heaviness that fills you entire body, you stop. you realize that they have no idea of where you are right now and all they can do is imagine how you feel. they don't imagine it based on experience because they can only imagine it based on what society dictates.

it's like a doctor asking a patient how he or she feels. as much as the patient explains the feeling, the doctor can never fully understand how a patient feels. the reason for this is that the doctor has never experienced what the patient currently experiences. Sure... the doctor can EMPATHIZE... but he or she will never SHARE that experience with the patient.

there will be two or three who can hit you at the back of you head to help you sort things out and you can just be thankful about it. i'm realizing how much i have missed the old world i used to be in. the world where problems were not about how your parents did not allow you to go to a vacation, how you were not able to buy a bag or a pair of shoes, how things get routinary, how another sibling gets special treatment, or maybe how certain fonts or margins on a piece of paper changes your study habits. it was about how you will be able to get by the following days, how to get over an addiction, how find a career that will sustain you, where to go since your parents decide to abandon you.

These were the things that made you want to live life more. The problems are are not about wants. The problems are about needs. but whatever world you live in, the most important thing is that you find a real meaning to why you're living your life. a meaning that when it is taken away from you, you run to look for it and scour every corner of the world because it is what gives you life.